Life Lessons Courtesy of College - 3

Not All Friends Are Created Equal
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In high school I had a fairly large group of friends who were also my teammates. We spent every day with each other and never attended an event without each other. However, when it came to choosing colleges to attend we all seemed to have different viewpoints of where we saw ourselves ending up. For me, I wanted the big SEC experience with football and an old college charm. My friends on the other hand, decided they wanted to go to the smaller colleges like Berry and Georgia College. Graduation was a bittersweet time as we parted ways towards our respected colleges in the fall and sadly we all lost connection with each other. 

Coming into college I knew that I wanted to join a sorority. Both my parents were in the Greek life and after leaving behind all of my friends I didn't want to be friendless. I decided to go through recruitment, found a house I thought fit my beliefs and preferences, and begun the search for those "lifelong friends and future bridesmaids" that everyone claims they have from their sorority. I found a small group of girls within my sorority that I clicked with and we attended every event from Freshman year through the beginning of Junior year together. We were the 3 amigos and I began to think that I had found the elusive lifelong friends everyone always talked about. We lived in our sorority house together, endured the inevitable drama that comes with living with 70 other girls, and decided to get an apartment together despite people's advice to not live with your best friends. Looking back, I wish I had heeded that advice. 

Fall of our Junior year came and I went through a bad breakup that came out of the blue and certainly not mutual. Looking back I am so much happier now than I ever was but it never seems like that at the time. The spring before, one of the friends went through a bad breakup and the other girl and I were there to support her and do our best to coax her through it. I got her a little gift with chocolate and a teddy bear and wrote a sweet card. I sat with her for nights on end and listened to her cry and complain and never batted an eye at lending an ear and shoulder to cry on. So naturally, I had hoped they would do the same for me. I came to learn the bitter truth that not all friends reciprocate the same way that I did. Where I was compassionate, they in turn shunned me and stayed away from me. They guilted me for starting to hang out with other girls in the sorority instead of wanting to do things together. While this isn't a rant on them or shade being thrown towards them, I simply did not expect what seemed like a strong friendship to dissipate so easily. 

I've since found other friends that are more like me and who are kind and compassionate. But the lesson learned was a tough one to swallow indeed. Growing up teaches you that you never fully know the people around you and to not put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to friends. I've learned to diversify and spend time with more friends as opposed to severely limiting myself to 2 main friends. Sadly I am not the only one nor am I the last to go through this but the advice I have to those who are going through the same thing is to get out there and be bold when it comes to making friends. Never feel like you aren't enough or that you have to pretend to be someone you aren't. True friends accept you for who you are and won't abandon you in your time of need. 



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